Ask About Others
People like talking about themselves. They want to discuss the things they love, the things they hate, and the reasons you should love and hate those same things. This is powerful information for evangelism. If we want more opportunities to share the gospel with people, we need to get them talking about their beliefs. And one of the best ways to get people talking is to ask good questions.
Why Ask Questions?
Asking questions accomplishes three main goals. First, it creates rapport. Unless you already know this person, you need to establish a connection. By asking questions, you demonstrate an interest in the person’s thoughts, beliefs, and feelings before you launch into your salvation presentation. Remember, no one wants to feel like a project. You’re much more likely to gain a person’s ear if you first offer your own ear.
This volume of TGC’s Disciplines of Devotion series invites women to draw near to God through evangelism. Equipped with simple, practical ways to engage the lost with the gospel, readers will experience joy, not fear, when sharing their faith.
Second, asking questions is a respectful way to reveal inconsistencies in a person’s worldview. I often experience this when I volunteer at my local pregnancy resource center. Here’s a conversation I had with a young woman who came in for an ultrasound:
ME: Who is Jesus to you?
HER: He’s my everything. He’s my Father. He’s my friend.
ME: Wonderful! So what church do you attend?
HER: Oh, I don’t go to church anymore. I sometimes watch services online.
ME: Oh, really? What about the Bible? Do you read the Bible?
HER: No, I don’t really read the Bible.
ME: I understand. How are you learning and growing in your relationship with Jesus?
HER: Well, to be honest, I guess I am not really that religious. I don’t know much about God.
In just a few short moments, this woman went from calling Jesus her everything to confessing that she didn’t know much about God. My questions allowed her to self-assess. I never had to pronounce judgment. She realized—and I saw it on her face—that it made no sense to call Jesus her everything if she had no relationship with him or his people. Good questions allow us to gently and respectfully expose weaknesses in a person’s worldview and guide the conversation toward the gospel.
A third reason to ask questions is to learn the person’s perceived area of greatest need. Oftentimes people think love and acceptance are their greatest needs. Sometimes they prize financial success or independence. Maybe they long for freedom from fear and anxiety. Whatever that deepest craving might be, your job is to find it. You want to know what keeps this person up at night. Probing that area uncovers pathways to present Christ as the answer to that person’s soul sickness.
Good Questions to Ask
Crafting good questions is a skill that can be mastered over time, but for now let’s start with something simple. When I was a little girl, my go-to question was “Why?” No matter what the person said, I followed up with another “Why?” to keep the conversation going. Nothing has changed. My go-to question in evangelism is always a version of “Why do you think that?” or “Why do you believe that?” These kinds of questions help us understand what makes a person tick, so to speak. Here are a few personal examples:
- When my neighbor said, “I don’t have to go to church to be a Christian. I can worship God in my own way,” I asked, “Why do you think that?”
- When my hairstylist said, “A woman, just like a man, deserves the right to have sex and not be pregnant!” I responded, “That’s an interesting perspective. Why do you believe that?”
- When my friend who had recently filed for divorce said, “Marriage is fifty-fifty, and I’m tired of him not doing his part,” I said, “Marriage can certainly be challenging at times. Why do you think, though, that it should be fifty-fifty?”
In each situation, I used a variation of “Why do you think that?” to draw out more information so I could better understand the person’s worldview.
You’re much more likely to gain a person’s ear if you first offer your own ear.
Getting from Good Questions to the Good News
Eventually it’s time to move from questions to the gospel. Timothy Beougher suggests that we use what he calls bridges to the gospel.1 “A bridge to the gospel,” he writes, “is a statement or question that helps us move naturally from general conversation to talking specifically about spiritual things.”2 Here are a few that are easily incorporated into everyday conversations.
Church Bridge3
Ask a question related to church involvement, such as, “Do you go to church?” or “Where do you worship?” These kinds of questions work well when discussing weekend plans. The church bridge is a simple and direct way to transition to the gospel because it naturally relates to the person’s relationship with God.
Current-Issues Bridge4
Ask a question related to a recent news story or social media debate. Some examples include, “What do you think about the amount of time people are spending on social media these days?” or “The country seems so divided. Why do you think we struggle to see eye-to-eye on so many issues?” These kinds of questions can draw out people’s beliefs about humanity and the dichotomy between good and evil. With that information, you can move toward the gospel, showing that only Christianity promises the beautiful world they long for.
Prayer Bridge5
Ask, “Is there something I could pray about for you?” This simple bridge works well even in situations that require brevity. For example, you can use this question when you’re checking out at a store or chatting with your server at a restaurant. Many people are happy to tell you about their needs, and your kind offer to pray could compel them to open up about their spiritual beliefs.
Tattoo Bridge6
Ask something like “Is there a story behind that tattoo you have?” As the person shares, listen carefully for clues about her values or experiences of past pain. Then, move toward the gospel, showing how Christ satisfies, comforts, and heals. If you have a tattoo with a deeper meaning, you might even follow up by sharing your own story with the gospel woven in.
Of course, some of these bridges will work better than others depending on the person you’re talking to. And you may find other bridges that work well for you. The point is, asking good questions is an effective way to grow in evangelism. Jesus used questions to probe people’s hearts (Matt. 21:24–27; Mark 10:18), and we can do the same in our everyday conversations. As we take an interest in others, God will reveal opportunities for us to present Christ—the ultimate answer to life’s deepest questions.
Notes:
- Timothy Beougher, Invitation to Evangelism: Sharing the Gospel with Compassion and Conviction (Kregel Academic, 2021), 187.
- Beougher, Invitation to Evangelism, 187.
- Beougher, Invitation to Evangelism, 187.
- Beougher, Invitation to Evangelism, 189.
- Beougher, Invitation to Evangelism, 191.
- Beougher, Invitation to Evangelism, 194.
This article is adapted from Evangelism by Sharonda Cooper.
