The Upside-Down Way to Happiness

Happiness for the Long Haul

In his famous Sermon on the Mount, Jesus taught his followers, “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” (Matt. 6:33).

In the immediate context, Jesus was teaching on anxiety and worry, telling his disciples that their heavenly Father knew what they needed before they even asked him. Jesus implored his disciples,

Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? . . . Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow. (Matt. 6:25, 34)

Luke’s version of the same sermon records Jesus saying, “Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom” (Luke 12:32). Can you hear the compassion in Jesus’s voice? He doesn’t condemn his disciples or call them foolish for worrying about their lives. He’s not annoyed or frustrated by their shortsightedness. He uses tender language, calling them a “little flock,” and he reminds them that their Father in heaven knows them well and has plans to provide for them before they even know what to ask for.

Jesus’s posture of care is a cup of cold water for those who thirst. How badly we need these words today. How desperately Gen Z (like all of us) needs this comfort. How good it feels to hear the God of the universe whisper into our ears, “Fear not. Don’t be anxious. Do not worry. I know what you need. I will give it to you.” Even as I type Jesus’s words, I feel my own stress flee and relief rush in. Seek first the kingdom, Jesus says, and whatever else you need will be thrown in. What a balm to our souls.

So how can we pursue Jesus’s kingdom? The Bible says Jesus has an upside-down kingdom, and that fact makes pursuing the kingdom counterintuitive. Jesus’s actions and his words to his followers are often the opposite of what we’d imagine them to be. Jesus is truly God and truly man. As the perfect Son, he shared the glory of heaven, and yet he didn’t consider equality with God something to be held on to but humbly took on our humanity (Phil. 2:1–11), then spoke surprising words like these:

The Son of Man [Jesus’s title for himself] came not to be served but to serve. (Matt. 20:28)

The last will be first, and the first last. (Matt. 20:16)

Unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. (Matt. 18:3–4)

For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. (Matt. 16:25)

Jesus’s kingdom isn’t like the kingdoms of this world. We want to be served. But Jesus calls citizens in his kingdom to serve. We want to be first, but he says it’s better to be last. We don’t like humility or childlikeness; we prefer prestige and sophistication. We don’t want to lose our lives; we want to protect and build them.

Jesus’s instructions are contrary to our cultural norms, contrary to our natural desires. Indeed, we will not pursue these instructions on our own. We need God’s help.

To pursue happiness outside our Maker, and outside the way he made us, is to our demise.

After Jesus rose from the grave, but before he ascended to heaven, he promised his followers, “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you” (John 14:18). He was promising the Holy Spirit, who comes to live within those who belong to God. The Spirit helps us pursue Jesus’s upside-down kingdom. It’s not only that we see Jesus’s good life and want to emulate it. In and of ourselves, we can’t. But the Spirit who lives in us changes us and helps us to desire God’s will. By God’s grace, he empowers us to trust, obey, and follow Jesus.

Jesus says he came that we might have abundant life (John 10:10). He says, “These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full” (John 15:11). Jesus is after your good, and mine. He wants us to have abundant, joy-filled, and happy lives in him.

Is it possible that long-term, failure-proof, genuine happiness is available, just not in the way we expect? C. S. Lewis answers, “If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.”¹

Made for Another World

The longing we all feel for happiness drove Lewis to investigate his own nature and desires. He recognized that he wanted something this world can’t provide. His quest for happiness—the same quest for soul-deep joy, peace, and contentment we’re all on right now—led Lewis to conclude he was made not only for earth but for heaven too.

As my pastor said, the distance between expectation and reality is disappointment. Our expectation of happiness in this world leads to disappointment because, in reality, we’re made for another. We live in perpetual disappointment because we expect this world to give us what it can’t. We are aiming for earth and losing both it and heaven. Instead, Lewis says, aim for heaven and get earth thrown in.

Genesis, the human-origin story, says we are made in God’s image and likeness (Gen. 1:26–27). We are made to reflect our Maker. We are not gods, but we’re designed to image God by displaying his character and reflecting his kingly rule in meaningful ways.

If it’s true that we bear God’s image, then it’s also reasonable to expect that what God wills and delights for his creation will be for our joy too. To pursue happiness outside our Maker, and outside the way he made us, is to our demise. To seek life apart from the God who made us is to embrace death. This brings us back to Jesus’s upside-down kingdom.

Jesus says, “Whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it” (Matt. 16:25). If we seek to save our lives—that is, if we seek our own happiness, self-protection, or self-elevation—we’ll lose them. But if we’re willing to lose our lives—if we make sacrifices in demonstrating love for God and others, if we live for Jesus’s sake and not our own—we will find our lives.

This article is adapted from Why Is It So Hard to Be Happy? by Jen Oshman.

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